The Ozmerican Life

Quaid: "Mom, can I go outside to play."

Me: "Let's check the weather." (as I hop on the Internet to see how warm it is outside...sad that I save myself from getting up and actually opening the door.)

Quaid: (still not technologically savvy) "Okay, I'll check the weather" (opening up the front door)

Quaid: (shutting the door) "Yep, smells like cow poop mom."

It seems we have only two different kinds of weather here in the sticks...Smelling like manure or not smelling like manure!

Once again, bedtime came one evening last week. I was walking upstairs with Keira and Ava to put them both to bed. As we were walking up...



Ava: "Mom you don't have to pray for us tonight."



Me: "Really, how come?"



Ava: "Because I don't want you to, and you can tell dad he doesn't have to pray for us either."



Me: "Are you sure? Okay"



An odd comment coming from my girl who ALWAYS wants just one more kiss, or one more cuddle or one more book read...but hey, maybe she had a bit of the "big girl fever"...not needing mom anymore...I just continued on with getting Keira ready while the other kids hopped into bed.



Then mid-diaper change Quaid comes in...



Quaid: "Mom, you don't have to come in and kiss me goodnight."



Me: "Why?"



Quaid: "I'm really tired mom, I'm going right to sleep."



Me: "Really?"



Quaid, "Yeah and you can tell dad he doesn't have to come in either....I'm really tired"



hhhhmmmmmm...both kids have told me not to come into the room. Do you think just maybe there might be a reason why they don't want us to come in??



Me: "Is there a reason you don't want us to come in Quaid?"



No answer to that...he had shimmied his little self right out of the room before I could finish....



I then go walking into their bedroom (obviously they are up to something) and find Ava's pillow and blankets, Quaid's pillow and blankets under the bed....and what else was under there??



Quaid and Ava!!!



Even though they were being sneaky little things...at least I know that they haven't grown out of their bedtime kisses!!

So Ava and I were counting...I was saying the number and she was repeating me. So on I go...

Me: "......Thirteen"

Ava: "Thirteen"

Me: "Fourteen"

Ava: "Fourteen"

Me: "Fiveteen"

Ava: "Fiveteen"

Me: "Sixteen"

Ava: "Sixteen"

Did you catch that??

Wait a second...Fiveteen?? Fiveteen?? I can't believe I just said that!! And it took me all the way past sixteen to even notice that it was wrong??

I can understand Ava saying that maybe, but me?!?!

Oh the horror....and yet again...I plan to homeschool my children????

What is it with kids and mud? There is something about it that screams, "Jump in me, sit in me, run through me, soak your clothes in me."

I remember my sister who has spent many years living in Ecuador. She told me how even though the cultures are very very different, kids are still the same. They make up the same games....you know the one we have all played....Putting pillows all over the floor and then jumping across them, not touching the floor because if we did, we would be "out", eaten by a crocodile, or burnt by the fire underneath? This is a game that is not taught but just created...and how interesting...kids no matter where you are in the world, kids are the same, they like to ride bikes, make up games, and of course...play in the mud!!! So I rest easy...my kids are normal.

Although my kids seem to find that playing with mud right on our front step is the very best place...a bit annoying, but I have let it go. They are having fun, being creative and really...a good hose down when it gets a little bit warmer will take care of it all!


But then there was another day around our house....another muddy day......and oh no...it wasn't my kids this time....Seriously....what is this?????
Yes it is Nathan's car. And Yes....it's supposed to be white!! And no Nathan was not doing this alone. There was actually 2 others that joined Nathan this day. So there were three boys...I mean "men"....that were spinning around through the field trying to get their cars as dirty as possible.

And yet there was even a sadder part of the story. Of course as sensible wife...I ask why?

"We're doing a photoshoot for a car contest on the Subaru forum." (A very logical reason in his head I'm sure)

uummmm suuure....a "photoshoot" for a "car contest" yeah honey, I get it a "reason" to go hotdoggin' through the mud with your friends.

I guess the "kids" never grow up!!!

PS...Nathan spent at least 3 hours outside trying to hose his car off and still didn't get it all out...hhhhmmmm was it really worth it????

So Quaid comes into my office...

Q: "Mom, can I have a piece of tape? I need to hang this on my door."

Me: "What is it?"

Q: "It's a sign that says no girls allowed."

It's started already!

There is a moose (??not sure about that one) and daddy on the bottom and on the top are all the people who can't come in his room!

People often ask me if I ever want to live in Australia...or why did we choose to live here in Minnesota....so here is my photo story as to why we chose to live in good ole' Jordan Minnesota.

First of all...who would want to wake up, head out to the balcony, and be forced to look at this every morning....

When I could wake up to this.....

Who would want to spend their time playing like this all day...


When we could be doing this...


And we all know about the fierce animals they have Down Under.....do you see??? Nathan's about to lose an eye!!!


And of course there's more.....wouldn't want to get tangled up with these creatures!!!

I'm pretty sure I would get really sick of doing this every day....



And on the one day a year that it's not sunny and warm....there's no way I could get the kids to come here again!!!



No thanks...I'll stick to looking like this...



And this...


looks much safer than this...don't you think?


And I think this...
.
looks like much better exercise and way more fun than this....does anyone even play badminton anymore???


So there you have it.....You'll never see me doing this again....


I'll stick to this...