Thursday, October 8, 2009

Heart Breaking....

I had my first heartbreaking moment with Quaid last night. Well not the first moment per say but the first of this type of hurt.

Quaid goes to Awana at a local church in our town. He absolutely loves it! He really likes going anywhere, any day at any time. I myself am a bit of a hermit so when the kids get to go out, it's a pretty big deal.

When he got dropped off, one of the leaders told me that he had a bit of trouble with the games. The group he's in is ages K-2nd grade. Quaid is 5 1/2 and a second grader is probably 8. That is a big age difference pertaining to physical abilities.

When I was putting Quaid to bed I asked him what the trouble was. His little head hung down, and with his little sad voice, he said the he was the last one in line every time and the first one that got out. He look so disappointed and defeated.

I'm not one that feels bad every time my kids are sad. It is a part of life the must be learned. Things are not always about them, things are not going to always be how they want them to be. I don't feel bad when they are sad that they only got 1 cookie instead of 3. I don't feel bad when they are sad because they were disciplined for something they did wrong. I don't feel bad when they are upset that they have to clean up their toys...but this was so different. He had done nothing wrong...it was the left out kind of sadness. I tried to explain that they were just bigger than him, that he did his best and that's all that he had to do. He would be the "big kid" some day. That he was already the bigger kid compared to Jentzen. No matter my words, It was still the sad little hanging head with a small voice..."Okay mom," was all he could muster up.

As I think about it today...really it was a pretty trivial little thing. It was a first of many disappoinments he would face in the future. There was sure to be times in the future when he's not he winner, when he's picked on by someone else, when he's left out. It's my job to show him how to handle it and to encourage him...I know he will learn to deal with it and so will I. But yesterday was a first for us both. And I bet he's already handling it better than me! I'm still sad for him and I'm sure he's had a great day and has forgotten about it already.

And it's confirmed...their pain is much more tough on me than my own!

1 comments:

TMink said...

You are so right and nicely put. I felt this way the first day Bren went to daycare and will feel like you, I know, when this happens to him as well :) As least we feel it right?

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