The Ozmerican Life

Should I be offended that my kids jump and cheer at that fact that we're leaving for a few days?

I guess better that way than screaming and crying while trying to hide themselves in our luggage.

But really kids...remember me?

The one who DID lug you around as luggage for 9 months?

The ones who's hips will never be the same?

The one who's tummy will never tan quite the same again because of the numerous stretch marks?

The one who's tummy will never even be visible to anyone ever again?

The one who was kind enough to feed you at all hours of the night?

The one who changed you without a clothespin on my nose?

The one who's washed every possible form of body fluid off my hands more than once?

The one who answers every time I hear the word, "Mommy?"

Ok fine...the one who answers you most of the time...and only pretends not to hear you sometimes?

The one who feeds you every time you say you're hungry...all 27 times in a day?

The one who drops everything to take you potty?

The one who will probably say "potty" till you're 35 years old?

The one who loves you more than anyone else alive? (I'll arm wrestle you for this one Daddy...winner takes all!)

Remember me you punks???? I will miss you so much kids...so please miss me a little!

We spend this day at Sever's Corn Maze. I was always a bit skeptical until we went last year....and Oh My! We'll be going every year from now on. So much fun! And so much more than just a walk through a corn field.

There's a big giant slide. Ava...the smiles tell it all.


These faces, I'm a little less sure about. I think by the end of it they were okay...I think.
I love dads...and I love the fact that dads get suckered into all the kids things...and moms get to stand by the sideline and hold their jackets and half eaten food.
And it's a good thing that this Dad is easily suckered...otherwise I'm pretty sure Jentzen would have been launched off the slide.
And I'm pretty sure there wasn't much suckering involved...I think Nathan was equally entertained.
At this point I'm thinking that Dad is about to be launched as well!
Phew! All ended well. And no complaints from Jentzen...or Daddy.
Then on to the most fun part of it all. The Giant Corn Pit. If you're a little irritated by the price of corn these days...you can blame the corn pit. There's enough corn in here to feed a small country...but Oh is it worth it!!! Keira catapulted herself into this time and time again.
This was my favorite part too...I could have played around in here all day long. And we did for a huge part of the day. Do you know how many crevasses it's possible to get corn lodged? Well if you take a look at beautiful Olivia...at her hair....at her beautiful turquoise shirt...a little lower...a little lower. Yep that's it. The crack. Pretty sure that poor girl spent more time mining for corn than actually playing the poor thing. Lack of cheeks...it's really a curse...no matter how tight the pants are...it's just never tight enough to do the job. Ask my kids...they know this life way too well.
It was just a few weeks back and I was still finding corn kernels around my house...2 months later.

And then there's the hay bale maze. Giant hay bales that are set up like a maze...but it's much more fun to run on top. I tried to take the mom stance of holding all the coats, purses etc. And just watch from the sidelines...but Keira would have none of that. Nathan conveniently paired himself with the older kids which have leg lengths that are conducive to hay bale jumping. I, on the other hand, was stuck with not only all the purses and coats but also the child with the shortest legs.

Now I myself hardly have legs long enough to jump from bale to bale....let alone helping my baby. Nothing like a nice struggling rear shot...Thanks Mel. But if you can't embarrass yourself on your own blog...then what's the point.
No, I don't need help...Nope, don't worry about me...Don't I look totally under control? As I almost go splits, rip by pants in half, and knock my head on the hay bale...Nope, don't worry, our baby is just fine. And Me? Well never mind me.

Petting zoos are always fun. And they do have freakishly weird animals for a corn field in Shakopee.
But what do the Aussies choose to befriend? The deer, the common pesky, better off dead deer.
Their deer equivalent is the kangaroo believe it or not. The pesky thing that totals your car and is way over populated.
Then there's the Ostrich. I think we all know not to mess with the Ostrich. Nathan was just teaching Jentzen this very valuable lesson...as he almost got his eye snatched out and his nose bitten off. Seriously...this is a kids place!
More deer...Blah!
And last but not least...Pig Races. That's it. No more to mention...that's about all the time we spent on the Pig Races.


In my opinion...head back to the Corn Pit....you'll thank me.

On October 8th my sister Nancy was kind enough to give birth to a baby. Not just any baby. My 5th baby...she was a surrogate.

Except she doesn't really know it.

And I only get to have my baby 2 days a week and I let her have the baby the rest of the time.

Okay so maybe that makes ME a surrogate mama.

Okay fine...I'm just the Aunt that babysits 2 days a week.

But I can still sniff her head and smell all her newborn goodness...you can't stop me!

My kids are her favorite cousins...except Gisella doesn't know it yet.

Not sure why Keira is flashing me that sign. Maybe it means something...maybe she's been sneaking in the TV room and watching gang movies during nap?
Don't be fooled by the licking of the chops...Keira is sure, "No wike it, mama...Gisewah wike it"
She's a pro. For a two year old. In case you missed it...2 years ago yesterday I was kind enough to birth Keira for the whole world to enjoy! She was nice enough to decide to head out...both literally and figuratively...on a day that I was already at work. I knew she was coming, packed my bag and my pillow and headed to work. I got paid to be in labor...how do you like that? And when it was time...I walked upstairs to the 3rd floor and had a baby.

Jentzen loves Gisella too...I didn't think he'd be into the whole baby thing...way too may cars to play with and not enough hours in the day...but he joined in the fun.

And does one even have to wonder what my little mother hen thinks of Gisella? And who wouldn't love her...look at that face!!
And at any moment that Ava's little chick isn't here or in need of mothering...that's where younger siblings come into action.All tucked up...ready for bedtime. Anyone need a mom...obviously I'm not needed in this house!

I've succumb to the boys world...

Me: "Quaid be careful whipping your brother and sister with a towel."

Q: "I will mom, I'll do it nicely."

A nightly prayer...

Q: "Please Lord, PLEASE help us not get the toy room messy tomorrow."

A morning thought:

Q: "Mom, when I drink orange juice and then burp, my throat tastes like real oranges....not like juice...like REAL oranges!!"

He's going places ladies and gentlemen.

I thought I'd take a break from the Brewin Reminiscent Series to let you know that winter came. If you live here in Minnesota, and if you missed it, there's snow on the ground. Not just a dusting...but real snow.

I'm somewhat okay with that. If it's going to be cold there might as well be snow. It was a think heavy wet snow...perfect for snowmen!

The kids did this one by themselves. I don't do snow. I stay inside and take pictures from the comfort of my nice warm house with my slippers on. I know, bad mom. I love how they just felt free to rip the branches off our nearby pine trees. The boy needs arms right?

And I don't do snow right now because Keira and I spend most of our days hanging out in the kitchen like this. A snowsuit would somewhat hinder the process...and the option to drop trou and let 'er flow in the middle of winter...well I think that's somehow inhumane.

Yes Keira, I like to squeeze those little cheeks too.

And your boots are a PERFECT accessory. That girls has fashion skills at 23 months...ooohhh the places she will go.

The snow came and we still had toys in the yard. The sand diggers became snow shovels. I love a toy with dual purpose.



This snowman has pumpkins for shoes...or maybe he's a snowgirl and froze something off her top half? I'm not sure what artistic expression the kids were going for here.


And seeing as how just 1 week prior it was 50-60 degrees we still had the trampoline up. I've lived here in the winter for 29 years. And somehow every year winter and the snow catches me off guard.
So get our your shovels kids and clear the trampoline. It kept them busy and by the end of 3 days they had it done. We'll see what they do with the big hole and snow. I'd make a snow fort. Oh wait, I don't do snow...

This morning started out a little slow. Our kids really took to having a "big sister" around.




Jentzen took to Georgia like stink on poop.

Sorry about the poop reference. It's just on my mind lately as I've been dealing quite a bit with the brown death...Keira potty training and all.


We ventured into town to watch my neice Kayla play volleyball. She's the one at the net. It's so fun to watch. Can't wait till my kids get to play big kid sports.

The kids were somewhat less impressed with Kayla's mad skills.


Keira made a new friend that day as well. This picture just makes me think ahead to when they're older and will be sneaking secrets back and forth as teenagers. It's sad to think they won't have each other day to day to laugh, giggle, do hair....and of course plot against the four parents together.



And to top off another great day...popcorn. Everything in America is bigger. Even the popcorn. Mel was a big fan of my 2.5 pound jug...GO COSTCO!!! And it's just not popcorn unless it's in an old school air popper with a paper bag.
It's 7:45am. I'm hungry. I'm going to go make some popcorn and go to bed. Pretty sure the kids can fend for themselves today. Afterall, 6 is a totally capable age to lead the troops.