The Ozmerican Life

Throughout this year I have made a solid effort to spend more quality time with my kids, showing them that they truly are more important to me. As I've mentioned before, I spend most days, all day with the kids. But most of it is not quality time. And with 4 of them, it takes a real effort to spread myself around...absolutely possible, but it takes me making a point of doing it.



The other challenge is figuring out what "love" means for each child. I want to make sure that each minute set aside for each one is spent exactly how they need it spent.



I am a quality time person 100%. Playing a game, talking, walking, pretty much any undistracted time with me makes my cup overflow. Without it, I dry up. But just because I'm that way, doesn't mean my kids are...and that's where the challenge comes in.



I've got something special with each of my kids...something that's just between the two of us.



With Quaid we spent lots of time when he was smaller building with K'nex, blocks, and Lego's. He could build for hours. I would tell him over and over how awesome it was, how cool it was built...and he just shines with each and every word. Now that he's 6 and is playing with toys for "6 +" I am no longer able to help. My Lego building skills end at age range "3-5 years." Sad but true, the boy can out build his Mom hands down. He'll go off on his own and build something or draw a picture, and come running to me....beaming proud. He gets big hugs, and kisses, and me telling him how awesome his picture or Lego spaceship is and he just lights up. Then I tell him I love him, he says I love you to Mom, I say I love you, He says I love you too mom, I say I love you....and we continue on with that until he says, "Ugghhh Mooooommmmm!!"



Ava is a quality time girl just like me. She loves to play games and I try to always play with her when she asks...excepts when she asks me at 4:55 when I'm in the middle of dinner with Happy Hour Hungry kids! Then she has to wait! We also have a special song....it's one I heard when I was young. I hold her tight and whisper it in her ear so no one else can hear it. Just to keep it between us, but also because no one really wants to hear me sing out loud. It's not pretty. She just sits perfectly still and just listens until I finish.



Jentzen, I don't know exactly what kind of man he is quite yet. He seems to be a little bit of everything But we have our special things....I always "find his tickles." He LOVES to be tickled...I laugh at his giggle...it's so precious and to hear him say, "Please Stop Mama!" Only to sit there and wait until I start all over again. I can tickle him out of any bad mood, skinned knee, or bonked head. He's got the most precious smile ever. I'm sure you've all heard of the book "Guess How Much I Love You" with the bunnies. Well we do our own version of that. We love each other to the moon, the sun, to Africa, to Australia, to Texas, and even all the way into the kitchen!

And little Miss Keira. My favorite time is putting her to bed. First because when she's in her bed is the only time she's remotely still. And second because of her cuddles. She has come to think that it isn't a real cuddle until we're cheek to cheek. She reaches her little arms up and pulls my face right next to hers and just stays still for a few moments. I'll pull back and she grabs me right back down. "Mo duddle mama," she whispers. Repeat that 5 or 6 times followed by a quiet, "I wuv you too Mama" and I'm just a sloppy melted mess on the floor. All that girl ever needs is a big hug and a kiss and the world is a good place to be.

So I'm not one for New Years Resolutions. When you see something that needs to change in your life, change it. But I will be continuing on in my effort to give to each child what they need from me most. So whoever you have in your life, a child, a sibling, a parent, a friend...find out what they need, even it it seems unimportant or unnecessary to you...and find some joy in doing it for them.

Do you have a "special thing" with someone you love?