The Ozmerican Life

Quaid amazes me every day with his maturity. Yes he is only 5, but when my past 5 years has been filled with lots of little ones needing me for every single thing they do each and every day...every little bit that Quaid can do on his own is a huge help. I have always tried to make use of every ability of the kids as soon as they're able. We all pitch in to get things done. Being needed, important, and involved are a few things that make a family strong. They have a sense that they belong and the family couldn't operate without them. Cleaning, dishes, laundry, helping with Keira are all things we do as a family....don't worry we're not always working. There are lots of times of book reading, game playing, ball playing, gardening, swinging, bike riding which they all do together.

Quaid has stepped up huge in our family. He's such a help. 4 year olds seem to help with joy. They are excited that they can do such "big person" things. But now that he is 5...it seems more a of a drag than a joy. I now get a little attiude when asked to help. In my opinion doing a good thing with the wrong attitude or motive is not a good thing at all. I think it's better to do nothing than do it without the proper heart behind it.

I don't read many parenting books...I think 85% of them are so obvious or absolute junk. I have however read a few, and in one book I learned something profound to me. Maybe considered obvious by some but to me it changed how I think about parenting. Our job is to parent character not behavior. It's so easy as parents to simply correct things they are doing...lately for me it's been not jumping on the furniture (that behavior has come up again in full swing), and closing the door when they go outside (we currently have residence with approximately 500 flies...YUCK!!). We can get so caught up in saying, "No don't do that." I learned that childish behaviors they will outgrow...yes they should be corrected but not always will jumping on the couch bring them such excitement. But character will be with them for a lifetime and affect every decision they make.

So when I tell them to not jump on the furniture, sure maybe they get right down but with what attitude. It is with a "Oh fine mom" with a big eyeroll. Is just the fact that they have listened good enough? Not in my house. And that is where the challenege begins, shaping their character of how they treat adults, respect for others, compassion, understanding, patience. I admit that sometimes at some moments just getting obedience is enough. It shouldn't be, but sometimes that's all I can do just then!

But then I see pictures like this, my little man helping daddy do very important work in the garage. Precious isn't it...I just love the image.

He just wants to learn, to be a big strong man like daddy. He could learn all the life skills, knowlege of how to do anything, have every title behind his name and without character to guide it, what's the point of all these little teaching moments? Even as I sit writing this, a ton of "character things" are running through my mind. All the things I desire of my children...to be honest, caring, compassionate, giving, respectful, joyful, and the list could go on. It's a little overwhelming...so I have decided each week (or maybe longer if needed:) to pick a fruit of the Spirit (I figured that was a good place to start) and really teach them what it means and how they can display that every day. Just like daddy has these teaching times, and I am teaching them their ABC's and 123's...I need to always remember what life lessons go hand in hand with just head knowledge. It's in writing, now I have committed myself. I'll hopefully be back with some results next week!!